I don鈥檛 know what people see or think when they first meet me on campus, but I鈥檇 be willing to bet what they don鈥檛 see: a first-generation college student. That鈥檚 okay. We鈥檙e rather hard to spot. We don鈥檛 carry ourselves a certain way; we don鈥檛 talk a certain way; we don鈥檛 dress differently; there鈥檚 no neon sign hovering above us with an arrow.
At least, I鈥檓 not aware of any of these things.
I grew up in Pennsylvania, the product of a hard-working, blue-collar family. There were the shadows of Allentown鈥檚 factories and the ever-glowing smokestacks of Bethlehem Steel. My father, who was a machinist, dreamed of something more for me and my younger brother, as most parents do. He and my mother wanted something a little bit more for our futures. But what was that? Money was first and foremost a worry, and he and my mother knew what the answer probably was: an education. Better yet, a college education.
I could taste the idea of college before I even knew, really, what college was or meant. Everyone knew one thing about me, though, and that was I was the family bookworm, the book nerd. On a summer visit not too long ago, my mother asked me, 鈥淜erry. Do you ever go anywhere without a book? Do you ever just stop reading?鈥�
I looked at her with a combination of bewilderment and horror. No. Of course not. That鈥檚 unthinkable. Even now.
Even though I was in what was known as the 鈥渃ollege prep鈥� track in high school, college didn鈥檛 become a true reality until perhaps my sophomore year. Student loans would definitely become part of my life, for a very long time indeed, but once I knew I could actually get to college, oh. The joy of just the thought! I met with plenty of college representatives who came to my high school throughout my junior year, took my SATs, filled out college applications to every school I thought was reasonable 鈥� and all but one was to a state college in Pennsylvania 鈥� and kept my fingers crossed. There were two that appealed to me, but I had my sights set on one in particular: Mansfield University. MU (my father enjoyed calling it 鈥淢oo You鈥� because of its rural location) appealed to me because it was small, and just the right distance from home: close to four hours away.
When I received my acceptance letter, I was thrilled. Finally! I was going to college. It wasn鈥檛 a dream anymore. But then...a little fear and trepidation set in. Who was I? Who did I think I was? No one, absolutely no one, in my family had ever gone to college. I realized that in so many ways I鈥檇 be on my own, navigating waters no one could help me with. And I have to be perfectly honest here. What was my biggest fear? I was afraid I would fail. I think these days we call it something like 鈥渋mposter syndrome.鈥� If that鈥檚 the case, I had a good dose of it, and certainly not without reason. Once again, no one in my family had ever been to college, and not because they weren鈥檛 smart enough. They had never had the opportunity I now had. I didn鈥檛 want to let myself down, of course, but I didn鈥檛 want to let my father and mother down.
Regardless of those fears, off I went in August of 1990 (please don鈥檛 do any math.) Before I did so, I bought a little book called How to Succeed in College, or something like that. I highlighted and annotated the heck out of that thing throughout the summer of 1990. I scrutinized it. Then I kept my fingers crossed and did the only thing I could do, and that was my best.
How well do I remember that first semester of college? Very well indeed. My first day of class was Monday, August 25. I had a sweet schedule that semester! My first class was at noon on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and that was Introduction to Art. From there I went to Introduction to Politics, and then I had Literature of the Western World I, and from there...
Yes. That first semester was definitely memorable. Remember: I was scared. When you鈥檙e afraid, you remember. At orientation, I don鈥檛 recall a whole lot being said about time management or tips about studying. Maybe that came up, but in the end, it was just me, and a lot of new territory.
Okay. Now you can do some math. All that happened a long, long time ago. But in the end, there is a happy ending. Or maybe there isn鈥檛 an ending at all. Not only did I do well, I kept on going! These days, my younger brother likes to joke, 鈥淜erry went off to college and never really came home.鈥� All joking aside, he鈥檚 right. I didn鈥檛. I found 鈥渕y home,鈥� and I found 鈥渕y people.鈥� I鈥檓 at home being a fiction writer (yes 鈥� I not only teach stories to students, I write them) and working in academia, and what I love more than teaching literature and other courses is working with students and getting to know them.
All my students have unique lives and stories to tell, and definitely a different course in life than I may have taken. I will say, that as a Writing Center Director and someone who works with a lot of first-generation students, and as a former Orientation Fellow, I am often asked how to be successful in college. Unfortunately, there鈥檚 no blueprint or step-by-step guarantee for success 鈥� however you define success 鈥� but I do have some tips to try. That鈥檚 what I say to fellow creative writers. I never say, 鈥淒o this.鈥� Instead, taking a cue from a writer named Natalie Goldberg (author of Writing Down the Bones and Wild Mind. Living The Creative Life) I say, 鈥淭ry this.鈥� It鈥檚 only two words, so don鈥檛 be scared. Just 鈥渢ry this鈥�:
1. Accept that you belong. I think this happens to a lot of first-year college students, not just first-generation. But you didn鈥檛 get to college magically. You worked hard. You belong in college. It wasn鈥檛 an accident!
2. Take your classes seriously, even if you think they don鈥檛 apply to your major. Remember that Introduction to Art class I mentioned? I wasn鈥檛 an Art major, and I didn鈥檛 get the Introduction to Theater class I wanted to be in. However, I still remember a lot of what I learned in that class, and as someone who loves art and museums, it鈥檚 nice to see some things on a new level. Oh! And I discovered, as a writer, how art can inspire art.
3. Try not to overwhelm yourself with extracurricular activities. Get involved! It鈥檚 nice to be involved. Just don鈥檛 get so involved that you lose sight of why you鈥檙e really in college and lose track of the real priorities. Ease yourself into a routine you can actually manage.
4. Believe in yourself. It鈥檚 great to hear nice things from other people (friends, parents, professors, significant others), but you have to believe in yourself, too.
5. Breathe. This is a hard one. But on days when things get tough and overwhelming, doing something simple for yourself鈥搄ust you鈥揷an mean the world, and take away some of the stress.
6. Get to know your professors. We don鈥檛 bite! And we can help you navigate. I鈥檓 in touch with so many of my professors who helped along the way. Office hours are fantastic things, and I wish more students took advantage of them. Office hours are for students. Some of my colleagues even have 鈥渃offee hours鈥� and meet their students at Starbucks on campus.
7. Take advantage of academic assistance. It鈥檚 free, and such services are there to help you. At Wichita State, you鈥檒l find a lot of those services 鈥� the Writing Center, Math Lab, Physics Help and Supplemental Instruction 鈥� in the new Shocker Success Center. Don鈥檛 confuse these services with this kind of thinking: 鈥淥h, if I need help I鈥檓 doing something wrong. I鈥檓 not a good student." Far from it! We all need a boost once in a while, or some clarification, or even just another set of eyes. As a writer myself...I know even the 鈥渂est鈥� writers out there have editors. If you鈥檝e heard of F. Scott Fitzgerald, you might want to Google 鈥淢axwell Perkins.鈥�
8. Breathe some more. See No. 5.
9. Did you stumble? Get a grade you didn鈥檛 like? Dust yourself off and get back up. Ask yourself some questions: Could I have done something differently? Did I try my best? Did I give myself enough time? Did I put enough effort into a project? Do I need to meet with my professor? Take some control and some responsibility.
10. Look around for opportunities. You鈥檒l see lots of posters and advertisements for things across campus. If something intrigues you, explore it! That鈥檚 how doors can open up.
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